Chapter 4: Growls, Scowls and Revelation
'All girls are the same. They cry at the drop of a hat.'
These lines kept echoing in my mind as I unpacked my trunk for the required stationery. I was not the kind to eavesdrop or strain my ears to hear what others talk, but while rushing towards my room I couldn't help but overhear Mallu's loud remark on the female gender. Hold your horses. I am no feminist out to fight gender biases, yet, it was absolutely inappropriate to generalize.
"Hey young lady, are you planning to stay in your room for eternity?" said a new voice.
"Sir I am just coming with the papers."
"In that case you better change your rig and come. This will teach you never to be late again."
Everybody was out to 'teach' something or the other. Grumbling to myself, I quickly changed into whatever dress I presumed was the fastest and ran out taking my stationery with me.
This time, a tall, athletic fellow had joined to form a trio. The Athlete. The trio gave me a look which was followed by pin-drop silence. I could not fathom where I might have faltered.
"Are you in your senses?" asked the Athlete.
I was silent.
"Who told you to drape a saree?" asked Saapy bewildered.
"Nobody sir. I was asked to change my rig as well and thereafter report. Saree was the easiest for me to change into."
Now, I was confused. I felt like an oaf not being able to understand what in the world was wrong in wearing a saree. I guessed I had made a complete fool of myself.
Silence.
"Write out your resume. Along with it also the application as I had told you. And madam, I need a detailed resume, understand??? As it is I can see you have problem in comprehension. So write everything about yourself. After all, with your behavioural problems and dim wit, a detailed resume will help you search for a befitting job elsewhere."
Hiding my grimace I sat down to write. On completion I handed it over to Mallu.
"What crap is this? Re-write," he snarled.
I was expecting this. God had given me good brains but terrible handwriting. Big deal. Even God can make mistakes. To err is human and God has had incarnations as a human!!! Anyways, I forgave God for his faux pas and notwithstanding my handicap, I rewrote fully aware that I may have to write even more impositions.
"Ten times."
I wrote my ten page resume ten more times. Each one getting worse than the previous one. My tenth one was only squiggles and doodles that could easily be mistaken for the growls and scowls I saw around me. I couldn't help smiling to myself. Even God would not have been able to comprehend what I had written and I was lectured on poor comprehension skills!!!
Completely disgusted with my writing skills, Mallu glared at me. He was about to spew venom when a sudden sound caught my ears. I turned and saw a familiar face in the unfamiliar crowd (I am not talking of Mr Hardy!!!)
"Singer, I am so glad to see you."
"Hey girl, same here."
"If your exchange of pleasantries are over, lets get down to business."
No one could and still can growl like Mallu.
"Who is he?" Singer whispered.
"Don't ask," I said exasperated.
As a punishment both of us were subjected to the generous usage of the most unparliamentary language by all and sundry. To make matters words, the trio were joined by a lady, a la Senorita. However, if a competition would have been held, Mallu would have been the undisputed winner of Mr Venomous India" title.
Our cellphones were confiscated barring a call to our respective homes to inform our parents of our 'safe' arrival. We were instructed not to talk to each other and then sent along with Senorita to her room. I didn't know which was worse, the growls by Mallu or the sugarcoated scowls by Yapper.
Senorita, in the free vicinity of her room, proceeded to subject us to the torturous lecture on how to conduct ourselves. She declared herself as our Saviour, the one who was going to help us by not holding us back from the growls, scowls and snarls around us.
Rest of the night was more of a painful ordeal of trying to remember who's who. This was spiced at regular intervals with dash of growls and snarls that Mallu added whenever he peeped in.
Senorita was a talker. She decided to educate us about the most dangerous of human species living there (Full marks to you for guessing it was Mallu!!!)
"He is a very dangerous person. Stay away from him. Do you know, he has slapped his seniors because they pointed out his mistakes? He has missed his promotions because of his nature. He has no respect for the female gender. He has a very nasty tongue and is very bad tempered. Beware!!!"
Her so called revelation resembled the cheap gimmick that TV crime reporters resort to before introducing an episode. My disgust for the sermon coupled with dislike for the uncouth made me go tangent in my thoughts. There was a sudden interruption in the form of a call for dinner.
