Showing posts from 2015


I looked towards the night scene visible from the window. I could see nothing except the colour 'Black'. The night sky was absolutely dark with no stars visible. Absence of moon was not a comforting thought either. I tried to close my eyes and pretend to doze off, but then, sleep eluded me. What an irony!!! It appeared at that point of time, every little thing I needed that night had conspired together to stay away from me. I was lonely and I was tired. I was weary of lying down on a cold bed, exhausted by the eerie silence surrounding me and draining out all the energy that was left within me. I could not stop myself from getting out of my bed, like a whining schoolgirl, and walk towards the window. I was standing near a widnow on the thirty ninth floor. I sat at first by the window sill and looked around. The sky was indeed empty, as empty as my heart that night. And yet, it had a strange glow (like the calm before a storm!!!). I could see the city way below me, all li

The Green Overall

I had kept you, all locked up, inside a trunk. Yet, you made your presence felt in some way or the other. Be it as a commendation badge on my uniform, or the present rank ribbons on my shoulders, you made yourself visible to the world. I thought I had had enough of you around, but knowing you, I could never be too sure. I knew you had something up your sleeve. I tried harder to lock you out of my sight, but finally got cornered by my own tryst with Destiny. The world wanted an overall, and I had no choice but to seek you out. I could visualize a smile on an imaginary face, a smirk with an 'I told you so' writ large on it. I went with halting steps to you. After all, I had to take you out of a steel trunk that had been locked up three years ago. My hands shivered and my heart cried. I searched and searched through the painful reminders of moments that would never return. Newspaper clippings, a pair of flying boots, a book on 'Chicken Soup For Fathers and Daught


Life is a constant teacher. Every milestone you cross and say "This is it," life smiles and replies, "Honey, there is more!!!" Living like a widow is never easy. And for a defiant one like me, its even more difficult. I can't live wearing only whites (its not the favourite colour of the man I loved, still do and always will!!!) I can't live without smiling (because thats the only way I can hide my pain!!!). Maybe, these are what make me even more vulnerable to comments. If I say that I am unaffected by everything negative, I will be lying. I ponder, shed tears in private, get upset. I can't fathom why one needs to be insensitive to another person's feelings and hit where it hurts the most!!! Its so easy to point fingers at others, seldom realizing that in the bargain, their own fingers are pointing towards them as well. Anyways, I have neither the zeal nor the drive to turn back and squabble. I already have enough on my life's platter. I

What's New???

Life is full of chances. Its up to us to grab or let go. That besides, isn't it really boring if we stop challenging ourselves and live a mundane life?? It was on a whimsical note that I decided to take a plunge back into the world of books. I was a bibliophile (Yes, you heard it right, I WAS in the past). As I got lost in the humdrum of routined life, I realized that this was not what I truly wanted to be. I lost my hobbies, my inherent dreams and my wishes. I felt that I was slowly losing myself and my sanity.  As this regression was slowly devouring me, a small inner voice slowly questioned me "Whats new???" It was with a sudden jolt that I realized that the answer was a mere NOTHING since a long, long time. A control freak to the core, I decided that enough was enough and I needed to do something about this life of mine. A quick introspection, and voila, the world if books called me back. Like a child taking baby steps, I restarted my journey, one book at

One Saturday Morning

It was a saturday morning. Like always, I thought it was going to be no different. But then, as the day unfolded, I realized that it was not going to be a 'yet another weekend'.  It was nine 'o' clock in the morning. I still had time to get ready and get going. I did leave my house in time to reach the venue, however, I managed to collect a packet lying on the table and pop it into my bag. Finally, I reached the exact spot, at the exact time (precision, I tell you!!!!). There they were, my class of 14. Fourteen innocent children who had nothing to show off- no fancy shoes, brand new clothes, nothing. They were, well, childrem aged 2 to 7, who were there for their learn.  I was not alone in my teachings. Along with me was a lady who felt the same as I did and shared the same happiness that I had when then the class ended. As yes, that packet of balloons was enough to light up the faces of my students that day. Doing something which the heart has been year

The Townsman

I feel like the townsman in Pearl S Buck's book by the same name. Packing my bags, moving on and thereafter, settling down in a new place. Not that this is something new. Thanks to the travel shoes I wear, I start getting the traveller's itch after every two years. Coming back to the book, it may sound cliched but this book has been one of my all-time favourites. And now, with my current job, I am able to relate to the central character.  For those  who have migrated to a new place, well...this story is a must-read for you. It deals with apprehensions, of doubts whether the  new place and its people would accept a  stranger into their fold. This story is also for those contemplating a shift, because, it is all about hope and goodness prevailing over everything else. And as it is said, its hope that inspires moves. Well...coming back to my plight as I struggle with packing, unpacking, winding up, settling down, right now, hope notwithstainding, I feel like taki

Family Dosa

Had taken the kids out for a treat. As usual their choice of cuisine popped up. One wanted noodles while the other wanted a chole bature. It was as they squabbled I realized that this had become a routine affair. We went out, ordered food based on individual choices. Sometimes we finished the laid out food, on some occassions have got them packed only to be left in the refrigerator or have left them right there thoroughly  embarrassed to have gone overboard. I decided to put a stop to their tiffs and ordered a four feet family dosa instead. It was an impulsive action and my kids definitely thought that their old lady was going crazy. They were mighty miffed. One complained why I hadn't ordered what she had wanted. The other one had a disgusted look on her face and refused to talk to me. When the literally lengthy dosa appeared, their anger turned into surprise and wonder. "How in the name of God are we going to finish this???". The other one simply said "Oh my God!

Dear Daughter

You are still a little girl But soon you will grow. There are lots I need to tell you And lots you should know. Remember you are special And will always be. Though now you are my daughter Soon you'll be a friend to me. Life is not easy But its not difficult too.. I am sure you will succeed If you remain as "You". Success does not always  mean Riches, parties or fleet of cars. In fact, it is the wealth of smiles You gather during happy hours. Success has no meaning If no true friends are by your side, If you are lonely at heart Or have things to hide. Live a life to its fullest Not because you have to. Life lived well is really one When you truly want to. It is better to be remembered By people, even if few. For all the good you have done And for their joys due to you. There will be heartbreaks and sorrow Thats how works the wheel of life. It is up to you To find peace amidst strife. The dark clouds will only stay

Let Me Be Me

I have been referred to With numerous names, I have been spoken of For playing mind games. I have been called An opportunist Who uses her womanly wiles, To get her way And get away With people by using smiles. If I wear bright colours, A bangle, a bindi And a pair of ear top. I am said to have  Taken pains To look good and dress up. If I laugh aloud  I have no shame If I dont I am a Snob If I am Independent They think its due to my job. I have had enough and now its time For me to raise my voice. I am a Widow I agree But it was never by choice. I am not a window of opportunity Nor a tissue to use and throw. Neither am I a damsel in despair Nor a broken bow. I dont need any shoulder To cry and lean on. Do not think I am emotionally weak, I dont need another 'Someone'. I really pity  The people who see The smile on my face for their notion. They can never see The pain within me For them m