Survival

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Life is a constant teacher. Every milestone you cross and say "This is it," life smiles and replies, "Honey, there is more!!!"

Living like a widow is never easy. And for a defiant one like me, its even more difficult. I can't live wearing only whites (its not the favourite colour of the man I loved, still do and always will!!!) I can't live without smiling (because thats the only way I can hide my pain!!!). Maybe, these are what make me even more vulnerable to comments.

If I say that I am unaffected by everything negative, I will be lying. I ponder, shed tears in private, get upset. I can't fathom why one needs to be insensitive to another person's feelings and hit where it hurts the most!!! Its so easy to point fingers at others, seldom realizing that in the bargain, their own fingers are pointing towards them as well.

Anyways, I have neither the zeal nor the drive to turn back and squabble. I already have enough on my life's platter. I am, therefore, better off restricting my comments to myself.

If I have to survive, I have to stay focussed. I can't risk away in the open, my pain, my feelings and my wounds that are still raw. I can't grow weak. I can't afford to let down my guards for I have way too many dependents and too much at stake.

So, after all the tears and heartburns, I pick up the threads from where I left them, smile at Life and answer back, "Bring it on. I am ready."

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