Posts

Showing posts with the label My Life Story

Apart Yet Together

Image
I never knew I'd meet you, And that you'd look beyond my scars, Though we aren't meant to be, Time with you my happiest hours. Its been ages since I've felt this way, You touched corners I never knew, We are in two different worlds, Yet I am glad my world is you. Happy that I met you, We did meet for a reason, You are my earth I am your sky, Our paradise, our horizon. You've given me million reasons, To laugh, blush and smile, I've never felt this happy, You've made my life worthwhile. I could go on writing, Oh! So many things to say, You're etched in my soul, I'm glad we met this way. Its not easy to be us, You are wind and I am fire, But the feelings we have inside, Will cater for every desire. No matter where life takes us, Roads keeping us apart, Though separated by distance, Always connected at heart. Love can fade, hearts can break, But we are shore and the sea, Tog

Rain

Image
There are days when I want to rave and rant, cry till my eyes turn puffy. Today is one of them. 'Turn to your friends,' my mind says. 'I can't,' I reply. Its not that I dont trust them. Oh, yes I do. I trust them with my life. Yet, a part of me wants to do it alone. With nobody asking questions and me not wanting to reply. I don't want to answer. In fact, I have no answers. And then...I hear a familiar sound. 'Pitter patter, pitter patter,' it goes. Sounds like the nursery rhyme I had learnt in my childhood. Smiling to myself I run to open the door and step out. 'Finally,' I mused to myself. Standing there getting drenched, my tears run down my cheeks. All my pent up emotions finding an outlet in the open. No judgements, no bias. Only me, my pain and raw emotions. Who says that only humans can be friends? I found one...RAIN. P.S: The illustration is by an amazing artist called Pascal Campion and this

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart

Dearest Sweetheart Up in Heaven, Its yet again time for me to sit back and live all the wondrous moments I spent with you. Completing 12 years of togetherness in spite of our distance is not a joke. You know what, it has taken me six long years to wish you on the day of our anniversary. To look back, the past six years have always been a roller coaster ride for me, especially on 10th May. I have always been my vulnerable best on this date. But as we enter our 13th year I realised things need to change now. As we enter into our 13th year of being You and I, I cant help but remember so many insignificantly significant moments in our lives. How can I forget the confused look on the face of a young bachelor sitting in front of this room the whole night reeling under the shock that a girl had proposed marriage to him. We did live in a society back then when it was uncommon for a role reversal of this sort. I still recollect the expressions of your boss as he walked into my office, hi

Conversation With God

I went to the place I often frequented And was flabbergasted with what I saw. Unable to control myself I questioned, “Lord what has been done to you? Why in the name of religion Is shoving and pushing permitted Amongst those Who want to have a glimpse of you? Why is special treatment given To those who pay a hefty sum To the Trustee fund? Why is there a separate gate For VIPs to meet you? Aren’t we all equal before you?” Disappointed, I continued my rant, “Where is the sanctity that once existed In your so called Sanctum Sanatorium? Where is my Lord who used to console When I ran up to him whenever troubled? Who are you now? Why have you changed? Why cannot things be as before?” I was unhappy, broken inside, This place wasn’t what it used to be. As I looked at the idol when I could, Amidst shoving hands and shaking heads, I heard a voice that no one could, I heard a whisper in my head. “Dear child I am still the same But some things are not in my hands.

Fighter's Vow

Image
Am thankful for this life, For being a daughter, friend,  Sis, mom and wife. Could I have asked for anything more? I don't think for sure. Yet that quiet demon within me, Doesn't like to see Me happy. It tells me to ask for the moon, And that too, real soon. Time 'o' clock is ticking fast. If I don't act now It won't last. It knows I have broken pieces inside, Scars and wounds I cannot hide. But one thing is for sure, I know whats mine And wont ask for more. I almost gave up but now I won't, I have people who say 'Don't'. I won't give up I will fight, For what belongs to me, What is right. Doubts in my head you'll face defeat, I will fight you till I succeed.

Watch Your Back

Image
One day as I went to leave My little girl at school. She looked up with wonder-filled eyes And spoke with a demeanour cool. "Mommy," she said "please don't go, I am scared to walk alone. What would I do if I fall? What would I do if you are gone?" I smiled at her and I said,  "When you fall I'll be there to catch. And when you walk, do walk ahead, I'll always watch your back." And then she asked, "What if you had to go?" What if I don't find you around?" I replied, "No matter where we might go, Our hearts are always bound." My little girl smiled and stood to walk While I stood on her track, We both knew I was there, Always, to watch her back.

Remember Me

Image
Remember  me, When your chips are down, When the world around Makes you frown. Remember me, When your hopes are low And you do not know Where to go. I only wish to be The friend you need When you are sad. I only wish to be Happy memories That make you glad. Remember me, When life seems steep When you want to weep And you cannot sleep. Remember me, When you cannot cope And there is no scope For a ray of hope. Let me be the light On a silent night That bring you smiles. I'll be the happy thoughts Comforting shots For many miles. Remember me, Think me to be A crazy owl. Remember me, That is how I wish to be Remembered.

Reunion

Image
I wish I could turn back the clock and bring the wheels of time to a stop. I wish I could revert back to the date 30th August to be precise. The happening of that day that year is still etched in my mind. What followed later is something my family cannot and it should not forget. The mood had been set and Mother Nature aided us in the process. The morning sky was a peaceful blue, absolutely perfect for the events that would be unfolding in a short while. Weather was pleasant and the people I wanted to participate in the reunion were ready. Finally, a daughter was on her way to meet her father. Yes, it was time for us to heal, something that I had wanted to happen since ages. We both reached the place where Manu, my husband, was waiting for us. We were meeting him after years. Manu was a stickler to time and so were we, especially Anya, our twenty year old daughter. On reaching the entryway, Anya looked at me. I understood that she wanted a private audience with her father. I als

Friends, Memories And More

Image
Happy Friendship Day said Facebook to me. I smiled. Really!!! I mean do I really need one particular day to celebrate the existence of my friends? Personally, I do not. My friends matter a lot to me. I do not need one day in a year to acknowledge their presence. In fact they have quietly walked into my life and stood by me at all times.  I still remember when I was a kid, with my pigtails swaying behind as I danced on my way to school. There were days when I would get late for the morning assembly. My buddies would fill up my space and quietly let me sneak in when the classes were dispersed. There were days when lunch boxes were swapped and food breaks were celebrated. And then, a time came when I reached college. Come what may and try hard as I could, I would invariably end up missing the first class of the day. Yet again, my buddies would mark me present and jot down points for me. I vividly remember the days we would all bunk our classes only to sit in the cafeteria for a l

Flashback

Image
My life is no less than a "Big Picture". I know, a lot of water has flown under the bridge of time. Yet, sometimes, a teeny weeny voice inside my head tells me to ponder, to introspect. And when I happen to have few minutes all to myself I do. Today was one such day when I went on a trip down my memory lane. As usual, my thoughts go back to a point, one that I call "A Point Of No Return". I call it so because however much I want I can never ever turn back time nor change whatever happened. Am I stuck with my past clinging on to my past memories? I am. But then, I can do nothing about it because I know it is my past that has made me what I am today in my present. So instead of whining over what happened, I have embraced change. I tried changing with changing times. I have learnt to let go of unpleasant memories. Have I grown? Maybe, but I have ensured that the Peter Pan in me entices the kid in me to remain a child. And yet in my varied roles, I do find a qu

Bucket List Twenty Sixteen

Image
Yet another new beginning, a new year. Time to grab a paper and pen to list out new year resolutions. A quick mental walk down past year's memory lane brings a smile on my face. Not bad! 2015 was full of wonderful moments and learnings. There was a change of workplace, new beginnings with known colleagues and making new friends as well. I rediscovered my love for reading and got into doing reviews. Saw my dream of turning into an author coming true. What better tribute to the man I love! Now that a new day for a new beginning in a new year has started, I now ponder what do I add to my Bucket List 2016. Thought about it for a long time and here is my list of resolutions for my New Year Bucket List. Am not the kind to have too many (sticking to them becomes a problem!!!). I don't believe in "Top Ten" because I like living on "Cloud Nine", hence, there are only nine items in my list for Twenty Sixteen. Here it goes... 1.   Take Life's Challenges O

The Green Overall

Image
I had kept you, all locked up, inside a trunk. Yet, you made your presence felt in some way or the other. Be it as a commendation badge on my uniform, or the present rank ribbons on my shoulders, you made yourself visible to the world. I thought I had had enough of you around, but knowing you, I could never be too sure. I knew you had something up your sleeve. I tried harder to lock you out of my sight, but finally got cornered by my own tryst with Destiny. The world wanted an overall, and I had no choice but to seek you out. I could visualize a smile on an imaginary face, a smirk with an 'I told you so' writ large on it. I went with halting steps to you. After all, I had to take you out of a steel trunk that had been locked up three years ago. My hands shivered and my heart cried. I searched and searched through the painful reminders of moments that would never return. Newspaper clippings, a pair of flying boots, a book on 'Chicken Soup For Fathers and Daught

Survival

Image
Life is a constant teacher. Every milestone you cross and say "This is it," life smiles and replies, "Honey, there is more!!!" Living like a widow is never easy. And for a defiant one like me, its even more difficult. I can't live wearing only whites (its not the favourite colour of the man I loved, still do and always will!!!) I can't live without smiling (because thats the only way I can hide my pain!!!). Maybe, these are what make me even more vulnerable to comments. If I say that I am unaffected by everything negative, I will be lying. I ponder, shed tears in private, get upset. I can't fathom why one needs to be insensitive to another person's feelings and hit where it hurts the most!!! Its so easy to point fingers at others, seldom realizing that in the bargain, their own fingers are pointing towards them as well. Anyways, I have neither the zeal nor the drive to turn back and squabble. I already have enough on my life's platter. I

What's New???

Image
Life is full of chances. Its up to us to grab or let go. That besides, isn't it really boring if we stop challenging ourselves and live a mundane life?? It was on a whimsical note that I decided to take a plunge back into the world of books. I was a bibliophile (Yes, you heard it right, I WAS in the past). As I got lost in the humdrum of routined life, I realized that this was not what I truly wanted to be. I lost my hobbies, my inherent dreams and my wishes. I felt that I was slowly losing myself and my sanity.  As this regression was slowly devouring me, a small inner voice slowly questioned me "Whats new???" It was with a sudden jolt that I realized that the answer was a mere NOTHING since a long, long time. A control freak to the core, I decided that enough was enough and I needed to do something about this life of mine. A quick introspection, and voila, the world if books called me back. Like a child taking baby steps, I restarted my journey, one book at

One Saturday Morning

It was a saturday morning. Like always, I thought it was going to be no different. But then, as the day unfolded, I realized that it was not going to be a 'yet another weekend'.  It was nine 'o' clock in the morning. I still had time to get ready and get going. I did leave my house in time to reach the venue, however, I managed to collect a packet lying on the table and pop it into my bag. Finally, I reached the exact spot, at the exact time (precision, I tell you!!!!). There they were, my class of 14. Fourteen innocent children who had nothing to show off- no fancy shoes, brand new clothes, nothing. They were, well, childrem aged 2 to 7, who were there for their learn.  I was not alone in my teachings. Along with me was a lady who felt the same as I did and shared the same happiness that I had when then the class ended. As yes, that packet of balloons was enough to light up the faces of my students that day. Doing something which the heart has been year

Realization

   It has been more than a month since I last blogged. Thankfully it was not a case of 'Writer's Block'. Besides the mundane hassles of shifting and re-shifting I truly felt more like a robot on the move. To add to this were painful blasts from the Past. I had to break free hence  took to modern day fasting- no Whatsapp, no facebook, no blogging, no internet. I thought it will not work, but it really did wonders. And how did it help....well...that is the crux of the matter.    Sometimes, to free oneself from the clutches of pain and despair one has to get head on with it. It is like jumping inside an active volcano to make it dormant. If you face it, you live happily longer; displace it and you just live. Life is all about living and that too living it well, after all, there is no guarantee that we will live again. By the way, even if we do reincarnate, there is every possibility that we might be reborn as a mosquito or a fly that is swotted down the minute it flies f

Born Again...

      When my husband died and I was left a widow at the age of 31, my life reached a decisive point. I have had people coming up with statements "What will you do now?Widowed at such a young age!!!", "Poor kids, they have lost their father...","She has lost only her husband", "I can understand your grief..."  So what if my husband is not physically present with me, will he cease to be my husband since dead? Just because the father is dead, don't my kids have their mother alive?           I have even had media-style questionnaire verbally put up to me (you know, the kind that is asked to grieving people). It included questions like "Do you miss him?", "Do you cry? How much", "How did you feel when you were vested with sudden additional responsibilities?", "Are you planning to marry again?" Do I need to justify and state whether I miss him? Should I use a measuring cup to collect my tears so as to

New Year Resolutions...

   Yet another year has crossed over. Yet another occasion to re-look at the list of past year's resolutions. Yet another time when a sense of guilt takes over. Yet another moment to list out again the resolutions for this year that has just kick-started.    Time gone by never comes back. This is a cliched statement. Yet years pass by with guilt pangs writ large on our faces because we failed at some point or other to fulfill the promises made to ourselves. We begin with a bang but end up with a whimper. Year after year this vicious cycle continues to peddle its way through our lives...Why do we fail in sticking to our resolutions. We are resolute in nature no doubt, then what is stopping us???    As we introspect we realize that someway down the life our life has slowly moved out of our control. We have given it away to the wheel of time to take over. How often do we have a "Me" time that can be spent on sticking to our resolutions? With passage of time, the control

My Best Friend

Dearest Buddy,       Don’t raise your eyebrows so, nor stare too long at the cover, it is true that I finally sat and wrote to you. Believe me, when I thought of all the things you’ve done for me, I couldn’t stop myself from writing.       When I look back at my life, I find that you were there at each twist and turn. If I could adapt to life’s dynamism it is only because of you. I’ve shared so many things with you- my dreams, my aspirations, my thoughts, my ups and downs: In fact, everything that life has offered me till date.       We have grown together. Each and every moment that we’ve spent together has become a wonderful memory. Every time I think of you, a smile creeps up on my face, my eyes get dreamy and I live the moments I spent with you all over again. Believe me, if I had to live my life all over again and choose a partner for doing so, I’ll invariably choose you. I really can’t imagine how my life would have been without you.... It would have been so dark!!!